Wednesday, 23 January 2008

Can You Trust The Honesty Of Online Dating Participants?

Today sees a return to writing. The following is the work of a friend and fellow writer, Helena Simpson. As always, your feedback and comments are both welcome and encouraged.

I have a better question- how much can you trust ANYONE- on-line, real life or otherwise?

Everyone can lie, or pretend to be someone they are not. But generally for the most part, people try to be as genuine as they can. After all, what is the point of being liked if you are not really that person? Who they really are will no doubt surface sooner or later, so there really is nothing to be gained from pretending, and anyone with a handful of working braincells will realize that.

Often people are more honest when not faced with an (often uncomfortable) face-to-face encounter, as they feel less threatened. Pictures are optional, so there is less immediate scrutiny, and their personality can be the first thing that can be judged, rather than what they look like. Of course, this is the ideal in real life, but due to human nature, most of us are incapable of refraining from being at least a little bit judgmental, despite what we would all like to believe.

I have made a great number of friends from random sites (some dating sites, others relating to my points of interest)on the Internet. I find them very genuine, not to mention nicer in person quite often. For two months I was in a healthy relationship with someone i met on-line, but due to the distance between us, problems in our lives and money issues, we decided to break it off. But honesty was never an issue. Be logical, not cynical about what you read, and take as many cautions with who you are talking to on-line as you are in the real world, and you will be fine.

What also should be taken into account is the fact people are also going to be thinking similar things to you...whether you are who you say you are, whether or not you have just entirely made up that list of supposed interests to make yourself look more interesting, or whether your skin really DOES have that gentle radiance your potentially photo-shopped pic says it does. All you can do is assume however honest you are is however honest everyone else is being- I know it is unlikely in at least 50% of cases...but if you want it to change, the best thing you can do is make sure that you are being completely honest before you judge if others are or not.

You can see more of Helena's work by using the link below. If anyone else would like their work featured please note it in the comments section and I will be in touch.
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mike volpe said...

Matt, this may reveal more than I need to however I have tried online dating and for the most part people don't lie online anymore than they do in any other setting. I have only had a couple of dates as a result but I never walked in and found someone totally different than they claimed.

Obviously, the vehicle allows for more abuse, however I think the overwhelming majority of folks using it are doing it with genuine motivations.

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